Hi there. While growing up, most of us have been subjected to some sort of comparison with others. Repeated comparisons with other people have hardwired this very habit in our brains as well. Here in this article, we will talk about how to deal with comparison to others.
I’m sure you all have had to deal with this problem at some point in life. This culture of comparing individuals usually first begins at home- by our own family.
How to deal with comparison
I have lost count of how many times my own parents have compared me with the girl who got straight A’s or the boy who was better at public speaking, or my best friend who was taller than I was. Now, before you demonize my parents (who are wonderful people, no doubt), let me tell you that whatever they did was not their fault. They just did that to motivate me to push my limits, for they themselves, had been exposed to the same toxic culture since their childhoods.
At some times, it did work out. For example, I started studying harder to get better grades (yes, I got straight A’s). But, at other times (in fact, most of the time), it just made the situation worse. For example, I just developed a negative feeling about my body every time they told me that I should grow taller.
As I grew older I just learned how to deal with this comparison to others-
You are good enough
First thing is, no matter what your size, academic history, or your achievements may be, you are good enough. Even though it may seem like it is true whatever any close one says, but you do not need to think any less of yourself in any case.
Work towards improvement but do not be so hard on yourself
Working towards improvement never hurts anyone. But, if you do not happen to achieve the desired results, do not lose hope. Do not make your health suffer just to achieve a standard that isn’t even your wish own, to begin with. We are all born and raised under different conditions, our upbringing impacts a lot of our choices and the kind of opportunities we get. So don’t make this comparison culture a reason to be extra hard on yourself.
Do not lower your self worth
Now, in moments of comparison, looking at other people’s blessings and achievements can easily cause anyone to feel inferior. But, instead of dwelling upon the achievements of other people, you should think about your own talents and achievements no matter how small.
Do not propagate the same culture
Having to deal with a comparison with others can already be a major blow to your self-esteem. So, do not start comparing yourself with others by yourself. It is very convenient to give in to the toxic comparison culture, but you know better. Keep a check on when you happen to compare yourself with other people. The day you stop comparing yourself with others will be the day when you are truly liberated.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”Eleanor Roosevelt
Stop overvaluing praises
Focusing on positive compliments is great, but focusing too much on what they tell you is not. When we let anyone else define us with their words or opinions for us, that is where you give away the power you have over yourself. These pleasing compliments can be addictive, but the second they stop and go over to someone else, we get back to comparing ourselves with other people.
This doesn’t mean you should focus on the negative or not believe what other people say at all. This just means you shouldn’t live solely for being praised.
Unlike my other articles, this post has been about a personal struggle that I have been going through in my life.
Sometimes drawing these comparisons with others can motivate us to do better but it usually does more harm than good.
So, whenever you feel low about yourself, realize that you and the other person have been raised differently, count your blessings and achievements, stop dwelling on praises, and do not follow the toxic comparison culture. Follow is on Twitter at Femalaya
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